you're every nice word i can think of
by Smiley612
Summary: Patricia Williamson and Eddie Miller started off calling each other "Yacker", and "Slimeball", but it eventually evolved into much nicer words, like "I love you", and "You're my hero." [Peddie; oneshot]


The Millers' began their relationship with names like **Yacker** and **Weasel Face** and **Cockroach**.

In fact, the names began when they first met and Patricia accidentally bumped into Eddie's shoe when he was taking a nap.

.

"You know," Patricia began, sitting in Eddie's lap on a cold December day in England, "if I had watched where I was going that day, I would have avoided your foot."

"That wouldn't turn out good," Eddie commented, agreeing.

"You wouldn't have called me Hermione, and I wouldn't have called you a patronizing American who's only reference to the UK was Harry Potter," she said, and Eddie pulled her in for a kiss on the forehead.

"Oh, **honey**," he smiled, sitting up, "I think everything would've happened even if you didn't bump into my shoe."

"Ugh," Patricia scoffed, sitting up, "What if you had kept the name "**Blabs**", though? I think I would've slaughtered you in your sleep if you had said 'Blabs' more than once in your lifetime."

Patricia smiled, thinking of every single time Eddie had called her **Yacker**; Amber had said it was a whopping 56 times in the two years they had known each other, including the time they were in America together in the summer of 2012, leading to them breaking up; Patricia had no idea in _hell_ how Amber knew that.

.

In 2021, Patricia and Eddie Miller stood side by side in Times Square; they had arrived in Manhattan two weeks early to hitch a spot for the ball drop, and now it was 11:58 on December 31st, 2021, about to begin a new year.

"**I love you**," Patricia whispered in her husband's ear as the screams and yells from millions and people echoed around them and security guards tried to calm people down. "You're my **best friend**, and I couldn't live without you. You're **funny**, **kind**, **sweet**, and even though you may be a **pain in the ass**, you're _my_ **pain in the ass**."

"I have such a **loving**, **wonderful** wife," Eddie responded, nibbling softly on her ear.

"Oh, stop it," she said, checking her watch in the dim light of New York City. "11:59, Eddie. Are you ready to take on 2022, another year as such a great, amazing couple, eh?"

"Completely," he agreed, holding her tight as they watched the ball fall down the pole.

.

Everyone knew that they hated each other, though; even Patricia knew she hated him. Even though Amber liked to think it was one of those _love at first sight_ stories, Patricia and Eddie knew they weren't. From the moment they met each other, they hated each other. It was one of those instant things, like how Romeo and Juliet knew they were meant for each other.

Amber was definitely wrong, though; when Patricia was breaking up with Eddie in America, Eddie had called Patricia **Yacker** probably more times than in their first year together. The same went for Patricia; she called him **Weasel, Slimeball, Doofus**, et cetera. Eddie wouldn't listen to her, wouldn't understand that Patricia was afraid of her feelings and that Eddie probably could've turned the tables around and 'Peddie' could've lasted through the rest of the summer and the beginning of the year.

Together, they probably wouldn't have lasted the first few months because of _stupid_ KT Rush and _stupid_ Benji and _stupid_ Caroline Denby and _stupid_ Robert Frobisher-Smythe and _stupid stupid stupid_ Anubis House.

They had gone through hell and back together; Patricia had tried to protect Eddie from the dangers of Anubis House in 2012, but in 2013 they were both in it together which made it even more awkward because they had broken up the previous month. She'd never admit it, but Patricia had waited for the time when Eddie would call her **Yacker** again, because he hadn't called her that in so many weeks.

Then they had gotten together and GOD WAS EDDIE THE **SLIMEBALL** OF THE YEAR. Sure, Patricia learned most of it was Denby's fault, but she didn't know it at the time; she honestly thought that all the messages between him and KT were real and that after they had gotten back together when Patricia was calling him **ignorant** and **stupid** and **rude** and **inconsiderate** and —

And then he kissed her, and Eddie immediately became the **smoothest** person by using the **kindest** way to shut someone up.

Then they had broken up about 284672348 more times after that because of Denby and KT and Benji and everyone else. Patricia was an **evil** being when she was made a sinner, and Eddie wasn't so **sweet** like his last name. He had thought that a kiss would break her out of her spell, but he was proven wrong.

.

"You know, I kissed you back in grade 12," Eddie finally told his amazing wife one day in February; February 10th, to be exact, one day before Patricia's birthday. "After you were made a sinner by Frombie. I kissed you to break you out of the curse."

"Well, aren't you **Prince Charming**?" Patricia commented, pecking him on the lips. "Maybe that'll break you out of your curse of being so **nice** to me lately. We all know you've been corresponding with KT Rush again because you want to have an affair with her."

He pushed himself out of his chair quickly. "What do you mean, Yacker?" he snarled, pacing the room.

"Oh, so we're going to start with that again, Cockroach?" Patricia growled, following him into the kitchen. "Do not do that! I know what you're like! **Slimeball**, _come back here_!"

.

They always did that, but in the end, they always made up. Amber Millington, age 27, married the same time Patricia and Eddie did; she was right about everything. To think of it, they owed their whole relationship to Amber — if you thought _really really_ hard. Sure, Eddie and Patricia might have lived in America together now, a settled down married couple with three children, but they couldn't forget their two years at Anubis House even if they wanted to.

Eddie might have been a Weasel and a Cockroach and a Slimeball and annoyed the hell out of her, but he also saved her, in a way. Patricia was actually convinced that she would never meet anyone, would never have a first kiss with anyone, but then Eddison Carl Miller-Sweet came along and changed Patricia's world upside down.

Sure, Eddie wasn't the Osirian anymore, but he was Patricia's **hero**.


End file.
